He grew up in the “Hood” where charred remnants from the Watts riots in the 90’s still stand as scars.
Yet he is one of many youngest Emergency doctors in Southern California.
Many single mothers with children can only focus on surviving daily, as did I, wondering if the emotional and financial toil would ever end.
Yet he was the 2nd African American resident in the twenty-five year history of UC Davis Medical School to enter the Emergency Residency program.
He’s my oldest son, Dr. Emel— the very first doctor in the family.
Somewhere along my journey, I heard “Nothing good comes out from the inner city.”
As you interacts with the media, many would agree. There’s gang news and the constant focus on crime ridden neighborhoods. Statistics are cited— about-one out of fifteen African American males can become imprisoned.
So how did my son and countless other young African Americans escape the threat of the streets to become brilliant professionals?
Honestly, within my early twenties I possibly could have cared less about becoming a mother until I became one. Staring at my tiny wiggling bundle of human potential in his crib ignited a flickering flame within me-a mother’s love burst within my heart, quietly beckoning me to provide my son ALL I HAD to be able to make him all he could be.
I’m telling you this story not out of arrogance, but I’m sharing with you success principles extracted out of my battle to be the very best mother possible. shaquille o neal total net worth I’m asking you to find your flickering flame (aka passion) in you, and to vigilantly protect and nurture it, convinced that should you add the best ingredients to it, it will in time become a tamed yet wild fire that offers birth to unimaginable dreams. My son was mine.
A flickering flame cares not about poverty, your troubled past or your brokenness: it only cares that you fan it until it “takes “.It will boost your thoughts and drive your actions until your dream becomes reality.
So allow me to share three success ingredients that nurtured my vision for my son’s success.
Belief Centered on Evidence
Observation is a powerful tool. Fascinated with my son’s make-up, I sent plenty of time enjoying how God made him. 1 day it became clear he’d an interest in science. The Discovery channel often aired shows about medicine. Clips of surgeries being performed intrigued my son while his brother and I were repulsed by such clips.
He told me, “Mom, wouldn’t it be great if I possibly could do that?”
Although my passions were different, I believed he was “wired” for science, and I developed his interest by taking him to science camps, buying interesting books and encouraging his passion. Eventually I was even able to locate a Magnet High School which emphasized the sciences and fought to have him in. (There was a waiting list) I seriously believed he would do something with medicine since the evidence was observable.
An Accidental Success Team
Nobody achieves in a full world of isolation. Instinctively, I knew this. Both sets of Grandparents displayed constant, unerring love towards my son which lent stability to his life, and also supported me. As a single mother, my vision of success for my son was tangible although my finances were tight. Both sets of grandparents helped with paying tuition, educational advice and providing experiences I possibly could not.
Teachers and parents also opened my son’s world.
I remember Mrs Burr, my son’s third grade teacher, reading my face one afternoon as I came to get my son from school: I was grieving. I was dealing with a divorce. She insisted to keep my son for the weekend. That was one of the very most memorable weeks of my son’s life. He went along to see “Disney on Ice” and she took him to church. He talked about that weekend for days. Yes, there are certainly a FEW teachers who deeply care.
Support abounded. I can never express the deep gratitude to the countless who regularly supported my son. They developed his skills and worldview which in turn strengthened his confidence to achieve.
Inoculation from Fear
What threatens to snuff out our flame? Excuses.Some of our excuses are lavish and believable. They could have been around for a long time, and sound something like this:
“I’m too old.”
“I need that 10,000 to set up the company.”
“I don’t have the talent to win that singing contest.”
Underneath nearly all of our seemingly most insurmountable problems is fear: driving a car of exposing ourselves, driving a car of being vulnerable, driving a car we don’t have what it requires to attain our dream.
Well this is a confession. I pushed my son very hard to compensate for my severe fears in early adulthood. Although I was an extremely ambitious person, this disorder was a roadblock fully realization of my dreams. I was oftentimes paralyzed because of it, and can snuff out my goals. So, I considered my son for fulfillment.
Over dinner, a couple of years back, I asked my adult son, who had been attending Xavier University, “Does the procedure of becoming a health care provider ever cause you fear?”
His answer convinced me that my parental choices were ideal for him.
He explained, ” I get scared mom, often. I’m doing new things all the time, and I wonder if I will fail.
But my PASSION for medicine is more intense than my insecurity, my uncertainty and my challenges!”
Rely on the spark, the flickering flame God has placed in you. Fan it, nurture it. Create a success team to emotionally support you, to carry you accountable and to simply help staff the areas in that you are weak. Be intentional in seeking help. Get comfortable with stretching into new territory. Yes, it can be fearful, but have faith in the process Do everything to aid the maturation of the gift God has placed inside you. Remember that ultimately your passion within you isn’t for you personally, but it’s for the betterment of our community who’s in GREAT need of your insights, ideas and projects. Indeed, the inner city has basketball players but in addition to that there are lots of with professional brilliance in operation, the arts, sciences and education. Believe it and pursue excellence with all your might.